In olden times, ancient times, and a long time ago, there were things called, “Trebuchets.” They were these really awesome and cool catapult things that would throw rocks at people. It was awesome. Like in the Lord of the Rings they had them in Minas Tirith, and they threw rocks at the orcs and stuff. It was just really cool.

Then there was the “tank,” which quickly replaced the trebuchet as siege weapon of choice because the trebuchet just kind of disappeared after people made cannons. Well, cannons kind of came first. Then guns replaced arrows and all that.

Cannons are awesome. People stuff gunpowder in them and put big metal balls inside them, then blow up the gunpowder, sending the ball hurtling through the air towards its target. How cool is that!

Cool. Cool is cool. I like cool stuff. Pepsi is good when it’s cool. I’m pretty cool. I think I left the air conditioner on too long. That’s probably why.

Why? Why do we exist?! What is the meaning of life?

Pies. And exploring the universe.

Maybe even eating said pies while exploring the universe.

Oh yeah. They’re probably apple pies too. That would be really awesome.

Ooooh! Apples are the best fruit ever. I had this apple yesterday that was pretty gross though. I think they put it in a freezer  too long.

Freezers are cool. I’ve had a Pepsi explode in a freezer before.

Explosions are awesome!

Cannons use an explosion to go through the air.

Trebuchets make rocks fly through the air. That’s cool. It was a long time ago.

Like, in ancient times.

And stuff.